First blog post

My mother is a wonderful woman. Most of the time. That is why i have started this blog, to get things out while I have no where else to turn. My mother has mood swings, massive mood swings. She will scream about small things, guilt you over your decisions and worst of all complain about my father and his family.

When I was younger I had issues with my bladder due to a medical condition but ultimately according to my mother that was my fault. She would get so angry if I wet myself and the bed, threatening that she would never wash my clothes again if I kept doing it.

Most children where I am from the punishment for misbehavior was the naughty step and for bigger things the wooden spoon. For me, I was threatened with being taken back to the orphanage(I’m not even adopted, at least not that I know of). One day after I had fought with my brother(older by 5 years) she packed me a bag, she bundled me in the car with my brother and my father driving, and we drove to an orphanage. I had been screaming and crying in the backseat for them not to leave me and that I was sorry. They kept driving and started laughing about it, they took us to McDonald’s and said that they hoped we had learned our lesson.

She will often guilt me about housework. At night after our dinner I usually retreat to  my room to do homework and study. I need my studies I’m disadvantaged by being physically disabled and will never be able to do a job that involves a lot of activity, so a desk job it is. She says that is it unfair that I always leave the dishes to her, however I do help out where I can but most days I am swamped with work. There are also 2 other people in our house that can help out but don’t. I am the only one that she guilt trips. It’s not just dishes she loses it over, it’s who brushes the floors, who dusts. If something has been left sitting such as a book or a pair of shoes, she loses it. She will throw them up the stairs, scream, rant, play a bloody martyr. She will scream at us telling us she hates us and wishes that she could just leave.

The difficulty with the way my mother treats my father and his family it that she complains and fell out with her own mother for the exact same thing but she is thankful that “she is nothing like her.” Bull. She complains about my  fathers brother and his wife. She won’t go to family things on my fathers side because they can’t cater for her coeliac disease. Even if they attempted which they have in the past my mother will say no, “just in case.”  But it’s a whole different story for her side if they can’t cater. She will say it is fine and will laugh it off. Because it is her family I suppose, but that is just what my Grandmother did to my grandfather. I don’t think my parents marriage will last much longer if I am completely honest, the way she treats my father and his family is too harsh, I haven’t written about it all here but it is.

And that is all I can think of for today, signing off.